A termite walks into a bar12/2/2023 ![]() ![]() Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH.” The bartender serves him and says, “What’s with your voice?” The pony says, “Nothing, I’m just a little hoarse.”Ī goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. He goes up to the bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for the man who shot my Paw.”Ī pony walks into a bar and coughs, “Hey, COUGH. A week later the same dog walked into the same bar, this time he was wearing a black hat, a black vest, black chaps, black boots, and a black gun belt with a pair of black colt 45’s, and a black bandage around his sore foot. With that, the dog yelped out of the bar and down the street. A man at the bar said, “I don’t want to drink at the same bar as a dog.” The dog and the man got into a fight and the man shot the dog in the foot. The bartender replied, “I’m not sure, what does he look like?”Ī dog walked into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but I can’t serve you.” The snake asks, “Why not?” The bartender answers, “Because you can’t hold your liquor.”Ī giraffe walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Do you want a long neck?” The giraffe asked, “Do I have a choice?”Ī penguin walked into a bar and asked the bartender if he’d seen his brother. After he drinks them all, the bartender says, “Don’t you need to know where the bathroom is?” The pig says, “No, I go wee wee wee all the way home.”Ī snake slithers into a bar. He walked up to the bartender and said, “I’ll have a beer …………………… and some peanuts.” The bartender answered, “Sure, but why the big pause?”Ī pig walks into a bar and orders ten drinks. "In that case" Says the mouse, "Got any cheese?".So without further ado here is my collection of Walked into a Bar jokes written by everyone, but me…Ī horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, “Why the long face?”Ī bear walked into a bar. Next day mouse walks into the bar and asks "Got any nails?", the barman says "No". Day after that the mouse walks in again, "Look" says he barman, "If you ask for cheese ONE more time I'm ging to nail you to the bar" So the mouse leaves without saying a word. Next day the mouse walks into the bar and asks the same question only to be told again they dont serve cheese. Next day the Mouse walks in and asks "Got any cheese?", barman replies, "I told you yesterday,w e don't serve cheese!". He shouts "Here boy!" and as the dog starts to run to the barman the man at the bar overarms his turtle out the door!Ī mouse walks into the bar and asks the barman "Got any cheese?" barman says "No, we dont serve cheese." So the mouse leaves. The bartender decides that this is easy money as the turtle is clearly in no fit state to walk anyway so fetcehs his dog and sits him next to the man at the bar then walks over to the entrance. ![]() ![]() The bartender asks "Whats with the turtle?" The man replies, "This mate, is the fastest turtle in the world, I'll bet you £100 that it can beat you dog across the bar room". The turtles covered in bruises and badages and has two of it's legs in splints. Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks Ī man walksi into a bar with a tulte under his arm. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."Ī termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Where's the bartender?" He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?" The pig says, "No, I go wee wee all the way home."Ī man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."Ī penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"Ī kangaroo walks into a bar. So the bartender gave her one.Ī pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"Ī woman goes into a bar and asks for a "double entendre". This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"Ī neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"Ī man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. ![]() The bartender says, "Why the long face?"Ī guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. ![]()
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